51. Switch Affections

JingYuan lifted his hands in a shrug and said, “See. You can’t imagine it. The like you have for me is not the same as the feelings I have for HanHan, the feelings Chen TianYang has for you.”

XueQing thought about it. That really seemed like it. It felt like she could suddenly see the light.

“XueQing,” JingYuan continued. “You’re not the kind of girl to be bound by emotions. If we really married each other, it’ll be a tragedy for the three of us.”

XueQing subconsciously nodded. At the thought of that, fear ran down her spine. But she wasn’t willing to lose verbally. “Alright. You talk about all that just so I’ll help you, right? I won’t say anything if you won’t. After all, my little brother’s involved in this. Since he likes you, as his sister, I’ve got to lend him a hand and allow the two of you can be together right and proper.”

“But your way’s no good. The effect on your reputation is too great,” JingYuan said.

XueQing rolled her eyes in an extremely unladylike fashion. “Great? No one other than our family knows we were going to be married. What? Could my parents and brother go out and tarnish my reputation? From the outside looking in, I’m just dating someone. What’s wrong about that?”

“The news hasn’t been spread?” JingYuan asked with a perked eyebrow.

“A lot has happened lately. We didn’t have time. Ma’s still looking at dates,” XueQing replied.

JingYuan let out a sigh of relief. “Then how will you switch your affections to? To who?” he asked.

XueQing glanced at him. “Didn’t you just mention Chen TianYang? He’ll do,” she lazily replied.

“He truly likes you. This will be unfair to him,” JingYuan said.

“You think I’ll toy with his feelings? I’ll sign an agreement with him. If he agrees, he’ll be my boyfriend for some time. If not, I’ll find someone else to act it out with me. Simple,” XueQing explained with a tired tone.

“He will definitely say yes. This is a chance for him,” JingYuan said after some thought.

“If he really is as foolishly in love as you say, what’s wrong with me giving him a chance? Even if it’s because of a hard situation,” XueQing said. Such an excellent man was actually that mesmerised with her. From another angle, it’s proof of her charms. It made her feel a sense of accomplishment.

“Okay. Since we’re stopping the conversation for now, I’ll head back to sit by HanHan so he won’t find me missing when he wakes up,” JingYuan said with a smile.

XueQing’s lips twisted to the side. My heart just got broken. You won’t even say a word of comfort!

She stared at the door JingYuan closed behind him as he left. Suddenly, a chuckle broke through. Her heart didn’t sink at the knowledge there was no chance for her and she just had to let go. Instead, it felt lighter than before. Perhaps JingYuan was right. She had it wrong the whole time. She didn’t love JingYuan. It was just her pride that led her gaze to linger unwittingly on the strong men who could stand right by her side. Just that which caused her to feel false emotions.

JingYuan returned to YiHan’s bedroom. The person in bed was still sound asleep. JingYuan had really tired him out last night. JingYuan’s lips twitched in happiness. He sat by the bed and gently landed a kiss on YiHan’s forehead. His heart was filled with warmth and fulfillment.

After a night, the love he’d felt had no future on yesterday had now turned on its head. JingYuan felt as if his life was complete.

JingYuan sat by the bed for some time. He paused. After some contemplation, he stood up and laid down on the bed. He pulled YiHan along with his blanket into his arms. He let out a satisfied sigh and lightly pecked the little one’s lips. He closed his eyes, a smile on his lips.

Translator’s Note:

Just realised there’s a chapter missing from Wednesday’s update due to a typo. Apologies and here you go!

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50. Can’t Tell Them

XueQing dropped her forehead into her palm. Exhausted, she sat down on the couch. If that truly was true, then there’s no way JingYuan would let go once more. Naturally, their engagement was busted. If those two truly liked each other, she wouldn’t fight with her beloved younger brother over a man. Anyway, she can’t win. Only…

“Were you going to talk to my parents and brother about this downstairs just now?” XueQing asked in a deep voice.

“Of course. HanHan and I are together now. We can’t sneak around. If I don’t have their forgiveness and permission, HanHan will be upset,” JingYuan replied.

“Has that icy-cool rational brain of your melted into goo?” XueQing said in an exasperated tone. She knocked her knuckles against her aching forehead. “We’d just said we were engaged. We were going to announce it to the world. Now, you say you’re dating HanHan. What do you want them to think of you? And you still want their forgiveness and permission? It’d be a light punishment if they just beat you out the front door. Don’t think about ever seeing HanHan then!”

JingYuan frowned. XueQing knew he was internally complaining about that rotten idea of hers. She raised a hand and said, “Okay. It’s my fault. But I didn’t know he likes you. I thought he was straight! And you said you wanted to protect him as a relative.”

True. No one could’ve imagined the little guy actually liked him. This wasn’t XueQing’s fault.

“No matter what, we can’t let HanHan suffer again,” JingYuan said. The pain the little guy had gone through all enough was more than enough to make his heart bleed.

“How about this?” XueQing suggested. “Don’t confess to my parents and Big Brother yet. Give it a few days. Then, I’ll say I’ve moved my attentions to someone else and we’ll cancel the engagement. You can tell them then. But you two are men. You can’t come straight out about it. You’ve got to take it slow. Be subtle. Don’t scare off my parents in the process.”

“No way. Once that’s done, your reputation would be ruined,” JingYuan said.

“I don’t even have a man. What’s the darned point of being reputable?” XueQing huffed.

JingYuan was shocked by her sudden crude tone. It took a long while for him to recover. Only then did he answer, “XueQing, don’t you realise? You don’t actually like me that much.”

“You not liking me is because of that darned bad eyesight. Based on what are you saying I don’t like you?” XueQing shot back.

“What’s your first reaction when you just found out I’m with HanHan now? Think back on it,” JingYuan said.

What?

XueQing casted her mind back to a few moments ago. Of course, she was angry. She was afraid this bastard took advantage of her younger brother while he was incapacitated! How could she not?

“See? Your first reaction was to get angry on HanHan’s behalf. If you really liked me, that wouldn’t be the case. Your first reaction would be to get jealous,” JingYuan said.

XueQing was stunned. That’s true. Even afterwards, she just thought about how to clean up this mess so the two can successfully get together! She never thought about getting jealous! Could she really be a selfless saint? What a joke!

“I’ve said before. The liking you have for me is just the vague friendly attraction towards a strong person of your match. It isn’t love. XueQing, you’ve never really had your heart stopped for anyone before. You don’t know how it feels to truly love somebody. Just like TianYang. He can force himself to not wash his hand for over ten days just because you held that hand. He’d give a goofy grin just because you smiled at him. Have you ever felt like that before?” JingYuan pressed on.

XueQing shivered. “Why are you pulling him into this conversation? And to not wash his hand for over ten days? Don’t you think that’s disgusting?”

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49. Engagement’s Cancelled

JingYuan didn’t understand what XueQing was referring to. “What?” he asked. He raised his hand to touch the spot she exposed. Teeth marks, slightly swollen. It must’ve neem from last night when YiHan was so excited that he bit him. At the thought of last night, his lips unwittingly stretched into a strange (sweet?) smile.

At the sight of JingYuan’s reaction, the bad feeling within XueQing grew stronger. She stared at JingYuan, waiting for his answer.

He snapped back into focus. “XueQing, I’m sorry. Our engagement is going to be cancelled,” he apologised.

XueQing’s heart sank. “Why?” she questioned.

“Because last night, HanHan and I were together,” he solemnly replied.

“Together…meaning what? You two…”

“As you’ve seen. We did it,” JingYuan honestly answered.

XueQing blinked. Her gaze bore right into JingYuan. “When he’s sober?” she pushed.

JingYuan paused and frowned. “He was drunk,” he hesitantly said.

All of a sudden, XueQing recalled Dr Chen telling them they could give YiHan some alcohol. Then, she remembered seeing Aunt Yang moving a few bottles up into his room. She had shaken her head in exasperation then. With her younger brother’s “drunk in one shot” alcohol tolerance levels, he didn’t need that much. It was clear Aunt Yang’s mind was befuddled from all that worrying.

Then, the current situation was: JingYuan got YiHan drunk, took advantage during then and…

The thought of that possibility made XueQing’s blood rush up to her head. She didn’t even pause to think. She raised her palm and gave JingYuan a loud slap.

“How dare you betray our trust in you? How dare you betray my brother’s dependence on you? I didn’t think you were a monster that’d take advantage of other people when they’re incapacitated! And you dare say you were together? Did my brother agree?” she interrogated through gritted teeth.

No wonder there were scratch marks and bite marks on JingYuan’s body. It must be from when her poor brother struggled and fought. And where was she then? She’s such a failure of a sister. She and all the people in this household sent the foolish little sheep straight into the wolf’s jaws!

XueQing clenched her teeth so hard that her gums were about to bleed. That slap was not held back at all. A handprint quickly emerged on JingYuan’s cheek.

“I love him and he likes me. Is it that wrong for us to be together?” he asked with another frown.

“He likes you?” XueQing let out a cold chuckle. “You really know how to dress yourself up in glitz and glamour. He’s drunk. What made you think he likes you?”

JingYuan let out another smile, as mysterious as Mona Lisa’s. A tinge of blush flushed through his handsome face. “He himself kissed me when he knew it was me. When we…ahem, did it, he kept calling out my name. What do you think that means?” he asked.

XueQing was stunned. How can this be? She clearly remembered her little brother’s girlfriend from a few months ago. “Are you sure it’s not a hallucination?” she said in a raised voice. Was JingYuan hallucinating out of mad desperation for YiHan?

“Of course not,” JingYuan unhappily replied. “My name was on his lips the entire time. I heard it loud and clear. It was consensual between us. It just happened because both parties wanted it. If he didn’t want to, I wouldn’t have forced him.”

XueQing’s blazing mind slowly calmed down. Yes. If JingYuan really was a monster in disguise, then he’s way too good of an actor to have hidden his personality for over ten years as if they were just a day. From how important JingYuan held her younger brother, it was certainly impossible for JingYuan to push himself on her little brother. Then…does that really mean HanHan likes JingYuan?

Translator’s Notes:

1. As mysterious as Mona Lisa’s: Mona Lisa is not directly referenced in the original text. The phrase used (迷之笑意) is a “copy-paste” of the phrase (迷之微笑) used in memes. Notably, it’s used when referencing Mona Lisa’s smile.

2. Consent: As rape is within this story, it’s best we address this incident between JY and YH here too. This is under the category called “dubious consent” (dub-con) on the internet. No one in published media really uses this phrase though.

According to Planned Parenthood (USA), sexual consent is:

• Reversible at any moment
• Specific as to which actions are being consented to
• Informed on both ends on what’s going to happen
• Freely given without any pressures/inhibitors like drugs or alcohol

However, that’s a very textbook way of defining things. Half of sexual encounters, inside or outside of committed relationships, occur when intoxication is involved. Instead, ReachOut.com (Australia) has a more realistic and simple checklist:

• It must be explicit. Just a simple hum won’t do.
• Minds can always be changed.
• Consent is ongoing. Always check-in on each other or speak up about it.
• There are yellow lights like “slow down”
• Alcohol/Drugs affect consent. The moment the other party is too drunk/high to know what’s going on, they can’t (give an informed) consent.

The same definition is given by Healthline which has a more in-depth article.

Also, Arousal =/= consent.

Now that all definitions are pointed out, I’ll attempt to explain why this situation with JY and YH should be viewed as dub-con instead of flat-out rape/non-con.

According to PP’s definition, YH shouldn’t be able to give consent since he’s drunk. But ReachOut’s/Healthline’s definition states YH’s consent here is technically valid. YH was drunk, but (as JY states) he knew who it was, what was going on and he was saying yes. Yet something to keep in mind is the POV. We witnessed the entire encounter through JY’s POV. That means the narrative is slightly unreliable. Did YH really give consent the whole way through or did JY just interpreted YH’s body language whatever he pleased?

We never really hear a “yes” from YH throughout the chapters around it. The only time we had a clear-cut yes was when YH kissed JY. Consent to kissing is not consent to actual sex. Dub-con essentially means the reader doesn’t know whether the consent was ongoing, accurate, explicit and/or voluntary. The scene is presented as consensual but if it’s taken apart, it can be non-consensual. Examples in this range include the non-rapey “rape” scenes seen in smut, very drunk sexual encounters that are passionate and might’ve had some social/personal pressure involved, surprise sexual encounters like semi-somnophilia where the other person wakes up and passionately says yes halfway through, sexual encounters where consent is missing for the introduction of a “surprise” kink, etc.

With all that being said, dub-con scenes are generally viewed as rape in real life, especially during convictions/trials. Dub-con also rarely applies to real life because real life involves two human beings thinking in the moment. If such a situation ever happens, speak up. Communicate. Failure to do so will firmly put it in the non-consensual section. Dub-con is only morally acceptable as romance novel fodder.

3. I wouldn’t have forced him: Rephrased for tonal issues from literal translation. This was changed from “How could I have forced him?” The implied meaning of the original sentence is more of “It’s not in me to force YH to have sex if he didn’t want to” than a smug rapist’s excuse that can be read as “males can’t be raped if they’re aroused”. As this is fluff, the author didn’t really mean anything by it, it’s just social norm and nothing would be discussed about this later, the “social norm” sentences have been changed to be less controversial and more accurate to the tone attempted.

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48. What’s This?

Yan patted XueQing’s hand. “No rush. He can’t run,” he said.

Just then, sounds of movement from the staircase attracted the family’s attention. JingYuan had left YiHan’s bedroom and arrived downstairs. The crowd looked over. Okay. Another pair of panda eyes.

As a regular member of the Bai household, JingYuan had clothes he could wash and change into at the mansion. By the time he walked down, he had already washed himself up and changed into a new shirt.

“How’s HanHan?” Ma hurriedly asked.

“He’s fine. Sleeping,” JingYuan replied.

The group let out a sigh of relief. Ma’s heart felt rather apologetic at the bedraggled (unsatisfied) look on his face. Look at this child. He even changed his clothes. One could tell right away that her youngest son was terrible to deal with. A closer look made the apologetic emotions swirling in her welled up even further. Her heart froze. She could see several bleeding gashes on JingYuan’s neck just above his shirt’s collar!

“JingYuan, what’s with your neck?” Ma asked in a panic. “Did HanHan do it? That child! Have you treated to them yet?”

Ma’s abrupt questioning made everyone look at JingYuan’s neck. The person in question raised his hand to touch at the wounds on his neck.

“It’s fine,” he replied with a smile. “It’s just a tiny wound. No need for any salves.”

XueQing had turned to look at JingYuan’s neck too. From her angle, she could look down JingYuan’s slightly agape shirt collar into his very sexy collarbone. But that’s not the point. The point is the fresh teeth marks on that collarbone!

Static sounded out in her brain and she hopped out of her seat.

Everyone was startled by her sudden action.

“Why were you so jumpy, XueQing? You scared me,” Ma said, bemused.

XueQing’s mind had been flying at the speed of light in those few seconds. She looked at her family. Everyone looked normal. They must not have discovered them yet. She was about to say something when she saw JingYuan threw an apologetic glance at her.

In that unique deep voice of his, he said, “Uncle, Aunt, XueQing, I’ve something to tell you.”

With those teeth marks as evidence, XueQing knew what he was going to say just off women’s intuition. She didn’t think it through. She immediately dashed over and took a hold of JingYuan’s arm.

“Come with me, JingYuan,” she said. “I have something to tell you.” As she said so, she tugged him away from the couches.

“This brat just doesn’t know restraint,” Ma scolded with a smile.

“What year is it? No girl would display that genteel restraint these days,” FuRen languidly commented.

Ma considered FuRen’s words. “True. Strike the moment you see the one you like. Only then will you get what you want,” she said.

FuRen: “…” That’s not what he meant. But his dear wife seemed to have done the very same thing back then to him. Ah, they’re old now. What should he do? It’s suddenly so embarrassing.

Yan: I don’t exist.

***

XueQing dragged JingYuan all the way into her room. She shut the door with a loud bang. JingYuan was currently feeling guilty and so just followed along.

She stood at the door. Her head dropped into her palm and she left it resting there for a long moment. Only then did she close in on JingYuan, peeled away his shirt collar with two slender and smooth fingers.

“Tell me. What’s this?” she shot.

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47. Nothing Can Be Heard Even If Anything Happens

With his little guy in his arms, JingYuan laid there on the bed in a stiff, frozen mess. His forehead was drenched in sweat. Not an ounce of sleep was in in him at. Happily and painfully, his eyes stayed open until dawn came.

Except for Bai YiHan who was dead asleep, it was a sleepless night for everyone in the Bai family mansion.

Bright and early, four pairs of panda eyes joined forces. The Bai parents, Yan and XueQing each sat on the living room couches with their own dark circles.

Aunt Yang who didn’t sleep the whole night drifted over and handed each of them a cup of hot milk. Great. Another pair of panda eyes had appeared.

“Aunt Yang, you look very pale. Did you not sleep?” asked Ma.

“With the Little Master in such a state, how could I sleep? I kept my ears out for any signs of movement. At least, I’d be able to help if anything happened,” Aunt Yang replied with a small yawn.

It was understandable if it were just the Bai family. After all, they are his relatives and he was always the apple of their eyes. It’s normal for them to not sleep out of worry, but Aunt Yang was just their servant. Essentially, it’s just a monetary relationship. The fact that she was so worried over YiHan that she couldn’t sleep was proof of how much she really loved him. The Bai family was very touched.

“YiHan’s room has the best sound-proofing available. Even if something happened, you wouldn’t be able to hear it,” XueQing said with a laugh.

“Ah, I’m just a mess from worry. Anyway, if anything happened to the Little Master, Mr Mu will surely call for someone,” Aunt Yang said.

“That’s right. Nothing was heard the whole night. YiHan should’ve been coaxed to sleep by JingYuan then,” Yan said with a nod.

“JingYuan cares so much for HanHan, and he’s the best at dealing with HanHan. With him around, HanHan should be fine,” FuRen agreed.

Ma and Yan nodded in agreement too. It was clear they trusted JingYuan very much.

Meanwhile, XueQing was bitterly laughing on the inside. If you knew what JingYuan really felt for Lil Bro, you wouldn’t trust him that much. But based on how much JingYuan treasured HanHan, he wouldn’t take advantage of the other while they’re not fully there. She wasn’t worried either. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have left.

No matter how smart Miss Bai was, she never would’ve imagined what happened. JingYuan wouldn’t take advantage of YiHan, but he can’t control himself if YiHan kept trying to seduce him. She overestimated a man’s ability to resist the one he loved.

In the time she spent spacing out, the family’s topic had already changed. When she snapped back, she heard FuRen musing, “Just what happened with that Feng Qun? Does he have a grudge against HanHan? Was HanHan’s unusual behaviour related to him?”

“I’ve looked into this Feng Qun before. He’s the eldest son of the Feng family. Usually seen following behind YiHan like a pet dog. He just wants to suck up to Yihan and rake in some benefits from the great Bai family. I thought he was harmless, so I ignored him. I didn’t think he’d dare hurt YiHan!” Yan angrily replied.

“The Feng family. Is it the one in construction?” FuRen said.

“Yes. Just a normal family. Nothing special. I thought they’d never have the guts to do anything. But…” Yan drifted off.

“You’re not wrong. They certainly don’t have the courage. Offending the Bai family would only hurt them. This matter shouldn’t be the Feng family’s intention,” FuRen said.

“If it’s not the family’s intention, that means it’s Feng Qun himself? Does he think HanHan was humiliating him because he’s acting like a docile dog? Did anyone force him to do it? No, he’s the one who actively rushed over to HanHan!” XueQing said.

“Such a person is definitely mentally ill! Who knew what extreme actions he’ll take? We should take care of him while it’s still early,” Ma spat through gritted teeth.

“Ma’s right,” said Yan. “Leaving him be will just make him a hidden threat. We should resolve this as soon as possible.”

XueQing thumped the couch’s armrest. “I was too busy being concerned over Lil Bro that I couldn’t teach that bastard a lesson. God knows where he’s run off to now.”

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46. He Likes Me

JingYuan had never thought his little prince would be that…passionate. One after another, YiHan’s cries melted his heart into sweet syrup. The little one cried his name over and over during then. What did that mean? There’s only one answer. YiHan liked JingYuan.

At that thought, laughter nearly burst from JingYuan’s lips. But now that he thought back to the past, were all that fuss and temper tantrum before due to YiHan realising his feelings for JingYuan? Was he unable to look at JingYuan in the face because he couldn’t accept the change in sexuality?

No wonder YiHan broke up with that girlfriend so soon after getting together. When JingYuan recalled that meek girl, jealousy rose in his heart. However, he could finally relax. Hmph. He no longer had to hide his envy of that girl. The one his little one liked was him!

The day JingYuan and XueQing announced their engagement, the boy was in such a bad mood that he wouldn’t even hold eye contact with JingYuan. Afterwards, YiHan kept avoiding him. Was it because he was…jealous? How can he be so cute?

It was all his fault. Everything was going okay. Why did he agree to XueQing’s rotten idea? It made the little one upset. Imagine. The little one just understood his feelings. Before he could gather his courage and face them straight on, he was told the one he liked would soon be his brother-in-law. How heartbroken he must have been.

JingYuan’s arms around YiHan tightened. His heart ached. Upon consideration, he had been a great, big, bloody bastard!

Fortunately, with tonight’s incident, he was able to understand this shy little one’s feelings in time. A great crisis was averted.

JingYuan kissed YiHan’s forehead once more and gently stroked his soft hair. Everyone said that those with soft hair had soft hearts. They were right. Don’t be fooled by his slashing claws. Frankly, all that was because they spoiled him rotten. He was truly a softie inside. See. When faced with the engagement between JingYuan and XueQing, YiHan didn’t throw a tantrum. He just hid himself away to stew in his sadness. What a heart wrenching sight.

Ah, the little one’s grown up. But he’d much prefer YiHan was still the way he was before. Shout and throw a tantrum with all his might whenever he’s upset. Vent out all his frustrations. Then, YiHan would feel much better.

Now though, he’d force himself to smile and comfort his family while he’s in a bad mood. The one he liked was going to be his brother-in-law. He accepted it in silence. It really made JingYuan’s heart shake with pain.

YiHan’s obedient and mature ways really made one’s heart throb in pain, JingYuan thought. He would rather the little one remained immature so he could spoil YiHan forever.

Was he part of why YiHan changed? It was all his fault. He was too careless. He didn’t realise the other’s deepest thoughts in time. Still, it’s too late to think about all that. He’ll just dote on him even more from now on in hopes of turning YiHan back to his carefree ways.

The brows of the boy in JingYuan’s arms smoothed back in comfort. There was a tiny bit of excited flush remaining on his fair face. His lips were plump and ripe. The few parts of YiHan’s neck and shoulder which could be seen peeping from beneath the blanket were littered with red bruise marks. The sight made JingYuan’s blood rush about and his lower body began to rise once more.

JingYuan let out a bitter chuckle. There he is, suffering and too afraid to touch YiHan again while YiHan was snoring away. His little one was exhausted, and this was his first time. How could he bear to wake YiHan up?

He shut his eyes. He can’t look anymore.

However, the moment JingYuan closed his eyes, the image of the intense incident from just now drifted before his eyes. The passionate gaze of his little one. The slightly agape lips. The body which shivered with his thrusts. The mouth which kept calling his name…

No! Stop thinking, JingYuan. Just when did you turn into a pervert who only thought about debauchery all the time?

◄Previous • Index• Next►

45. Saviour

Click. Darkness.

Once it was over, JingYuan carried YiHan into the bathroom for a thorough washing, changed the bedsheets, carried YiHan back to bed, went for a shower himself and cleaned the bathroom. Once he was done tidying, the sky to the east was already a pale white.

JingYuan was still very much wide awake. He carefully crawled into bed and laid down next to YiHan. He gently pulled YiHan into his arms and let out a satisfied sigh.

He couldn’t bear falling asleep. He just stared down at YiHan’s sleeping form with a tender gaze.

YiHan was dead asleep.

JingYuan lovingly tapped the tip of YiHan’s nose. This little one was so loud. If it wasn’t because he’s always been a child who woke up easily to noises and had a bad temper when he did, the Bai parents wouldn’t have specifically reinforced the soundproofing of this room. Then, the racket that was in this room would’ve shocked the Bai family.

Traces of joy hung on JingYuan’s face. His lips kissed YiHan’s forehead. This day had been more thrilling than a roller coaster ride. His little one fished him out of his suffering with his own two hands, then placed him on the sweetest clouds at the top of the world. YiHan was his saviour.

Translator’s Note:

Click. Darkness: A joke for self-censorship by the author due to China’s censorship laws on homosexual smut, even though it’s not illegal over there.

Next week is the Lucky Cat’s turn.

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44. Seductive Nymph

JingYuan patted YiHan on the back to help him catch his breath. “How do you feel, HanHan? It’s all my fault. HanHan, does it hurt? Gods, what should I do?” JingYuan worriedly asked. He who’d always been so full of confidence had never felt so helpless before. It was as if anything he did was wrong.

After some more coughing, YiHan eventually recovered. He raised his head and saw JingYuan was there. Upset, he curled his arms around JingYuan’s neck. “Where did you go? Someone was here. They wanted…”

His little one was still willing to hug him! Even after he’d forced a kiss on him! What did that mean? But what was YiHan saying?

“I didn’t go anywhere. I’ve been with you the whole time. Don’t be scared,” said JingYuan.

No one else was in here? JingYuan didn’t leave? Then who was it just now who’d…kissed him…?

!

It was JingYuan! JingYuan kissed him? How could it be? YiHan licked his lips, numbed from the kiss. He stared at JingYuan with disbelieving eyes.

JingYuan didn’t dare to twitch or move. Just like a criminal waiting for judgement, he waited for the little one’s punishment.

Yet…

A bare, dripping body was slowly walking towards him, like a seductive little nymph. Those long and perfect hands reached out for his face. The soft lips he’d tasted just moments before brushed against his. Then, as if shocked, withdrew swiftly.

JingYuan’s eyes bore into the little one timidly observing his reaction. His chest heaved with great might. “HanHan, do you know what you’re doing?” he asked in a coarse whisper. “Do you know who I am?”

When YiHan realised the one who’d kissed him before was JingYuan, he was even more certain this was just a dream. In his mind, the real Mu JingYuan would never have kissed him. YiHan’s heart galloped and pranced. Since it’s all a dream, then he could let himself go for once. Right?

YiHan’s hands stayed on JingYuan’s face. “Mu JingYuan. JingYuan,” he said in low but clear voice.

Having said so, YiHan dipped forward for another peck on JingYuan’s thin lips. He really liked being so intimate with JingYuan. He liked JingYuan’s scent. It’s so wonderful he could have this dream.

JingYuan: “…!”

JingYuan’s rationality which just logged back online was forced offline once more.

He wrapped his arms around the person before him and kissed those irresistible lips again.

YiHan didn’t fight at all this time. In fact, he even opened up his mouth to welcome JingYuan’s invasion, awkwardly but trying hard to reciprocate.

JingYuan’s heart felt as if it had been on a roller coaster the whole night. Up and down, up and down. Now, it was set on ecstasy. His little one didn’t reject his kiss at all when YiHan clearly knew who he was. YiHan was even kissing back. What did this mean?

JingYuan was still wearing the formal suit he wore to the birthday party. After a distressing evening, he didn’t have the brainpower to think about changing. His clothes were now sopping wet from all that scrambling just now. No matter how luxurious a fabric was, it’d turn scratchy once drenched. It’d feel extremely rough and uncomfortable. YiHan didn’t have a single thread on him. He strongly objected to JingYuan’s wet clothes. As they kissed, he kept trying to pull them off JingYuan.

JingYuan’s heart was shocked still. What was his little one doing? But no matter what it was, he should fulfil YiHan’s wishes.

Upon witnessing his boy getting frustrated over his inability to take off the clothes, JingYuan grabbed his shirt by the collar. With a hard yank, he split the shirt in half and tore the fabric sticking to his body away in the simplest and most brutish method available. Soon, his pants followed suit.

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43. Struck by Lightning

JingYuan was frozen. The tiny men representing his desire and his rationality had tumbled into a ball of punches and kicks long ago. In the end, rationality lost.

As if he was possessed, he lowered his head down and…

[500 words have been deemed unsafe for eyes.]

Who’s this? Who’s kissing him? The moment those questions popped up in YiHan’s dazed mind, he sobered up as if someone had just poked him with a whole bed of needles!

His mouth was blocked. He couldn’t speak. He began flailing his arms and feet in panic. Who’s this? Who’s doing this to him again? Is it Feng Qun? Those disgusting “friends” of his? Did they want to do that scary and vile thing to him again? No! No, he’d rather die!

YiHan struggled with all his might. His nails dug out several streams of blood along JingYuan’s neck. Finally, JingYuan snapped out of his fervour. Gods, what had he done? He’d actually taken advantage of the little one when he was drunk. He forced a kiss on YiHan when the other had placed his full trust in him!

JingYuan immediately felt as though he’d been struck by lightning. He hurriedly let go of the boy in his arms. His inebriated mind buzzed. How he wished he could kill himself right then and there! Why couldn’t he control himself? Why did he do something like this? How would his little man look at him now? YiHan must think of him a perverted maniac who takes advantage of others while they’re unable to say no! JingYuan was drowning in despair.

As for YiHan, he was originally sitting in the bathtub with his upper body supported by JingYuan. The moment JingYuan let go, YiHan was caught off guard. With how violently he’d struggled, YiHan’s entire body fell into the tub!

JingYuan didn’t have time to be depressed over self-loathing at such a sight. Panicked, he knelt down and fished YiHan back out of the water. A mouthful of water was spat out of YiHan’s mouth. Choking and coughing, a bright red blush adorned his face.

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42. This Dream’s Wonderful

Once YiHan was done, JingYuan tidied him up. JingYuan was about to carry YiHan back to bed, but the little one started acting restless again. Twisting and turning in his arms, muttering and moaning, “Yuck. I wanna shower. Sticky. I don’t like it.”

JingYuan’s breath stuttered to a stop from YiHan’s wriggling. His lower half was eager to act. He hurriedly held YiHan close to prevent YiHan from slipping onto the floor. “Behave, HanHan. Sleep first. Shower after, okay?” he gently coaxed.

YiHan’s mood soured further, but he stopped struggling any more the moment he heard “behave”. He let out a soft “mn” in response. After a pause, he whispered, “I’m a good boy.”

JingYuan’s heart throbbed. Good boy? His little prince didn’t need to be a good boy! It’s just a shower. What does it matter? Let’s do it!

JingYuan tenderly turned to place YiHan back on the bed. As he walked out of the bathroom, he said, “We’ll take a bath. Wait here a while. I’ll fill the tub up.”

Once YiHan was settled down, JingYuan went back to the bathroom and filled the bathtub with hot water. The temporary steam sauna flushed the alcohol right up into his head. However, he still remembered the little guy who was waiting for his shower service. He stumbled back into the bedroom. Come, it’s time to test his will!

He stripped YiHan’s sleepwear from his body with quivering hands. When YiHan’s nude figure entered his sight, his mind exploded. Heat rushed through his nostrils. He really suspected he’d humiliate himself soon by bleeding through the nose.

JingYuan held himself tight. Slowly, motion by motion, he gathered YiHan into his arms again and swayed back to the bathroom. He looked straight ahead the entire time, using his remaining rationality to supress his desire.  Mentally, he chanted nonstop, “This is HanHan. My little one. Don’t make a single false move. Don’t lose control.”

Nevertheless, that’s just what he thought. When his hand caressed and glided over the bare skin of the one he loved dearly, the trembling coming from his soul was irresistible.

JingYuan’s heart raced. He didn’t know if it was because of the alcohol he had or because of the feast before his eyes. All he knew was he was going mad. This was the person he’d been craving for. This little guy who’s usually covered in thorns and quills was not laying before him with his guard down, without a single thread on him. Unless one’s body had health issues, who could resist that? But he kept repeating to himself: he absolutely cannot lose control. He cannot hurt Bai YiHan.

It was very humid in the bathroom. JingYuan’s clothes were drenched and clinging onto his body. It didn’t feel good, especially his lower body. His pants were achingly tight. Gods, what sweet torment.

YiHan was so comfortable. He was stretched out among hot water. His whole body was relaxed. Warm water flowed around and encompassed him. A familiar and safe presence by his side. Because of the alcohol, his mind and memories were slightly messed up. He did remember the dream he had. The dream where JingYuan came back to save him.

YiHan had that dream many times. He had so hoped that when Feng Qun and those two thugs crashed into “the secret base”, his JingYuan would drop in from the sky. He’d stop those scary men and take him away. But he did know that what’s in the past was the past. There were no what-ifs, no one to save him.

However, this was a dream. Dreams were always about what the dreamer craved the most. Just like now. Nothing’s happened. He was still clean. JingYuan was staying by his side. He really wished this dream could be longer. It’d be great if he never ever woke up from it.

He savoured JingYuan’s roaming palms on his body. A delighted and meek moan escaped his lips. He buried his head in JingYuan’s chest. This dream was wonderful.

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