Extra 07. Curiosity Killed the Cat
One, about kisses.
Let’s turn time back to before QiYao and XiaoYu got married in-game.
Everyone knew the tiny cat loved its owner, Bai XiaoYu, the most. It even liked the uncle with the gold, Hei QiYao, because of its owner. As long as they’re together, it will be glued to their sides. Sometimes, it would goofily imitate their actions.
Once the two men affirmed their relationship, dates became a compulsory part of the lovestruck couple’s lives. While the two lovebirds fell over their feet for each other, there would always be a small cat waddling along behind them. Ignorant to its curiosity, they didn’t realise their every kiss and hug were keenly observed by the kitten.
The cat understood hugs. God once told him this was a way to show one’s affection. God liked to hug the cat when it’s human. Even as a cat, its owner and that man would hug him all the time.
But why were they kissing each other? The cat pondered. This uncle seemed to really like to kiss its owner and every time they were done kissing, its owner’s face would turn red. There was one time after the four days of major update. The way they kissed somehow changed. Their tongues could be seen. After the kiss, not only did its little master blush, his breathing turned into short pants. It looked really fun. The cat’s so very curious. It’s curious. ( ? w ? )
Thus, one night, long after QiYao and XiaoYu fell asleep, the little cat sneakily gathered its courage and slowly padded over to its owner’s head. It looked down at the slightly agape lips and softly bopped down at it.
It retreated back the moment their lips touched. It hopped a few steps back. XiaoYu’s face wasn’t going red. Did the kiss go by too quickly? Did it need to slip its tongue in his mouth too? The cat wondered as its tongue started to stretch out of its mouth.
The tiny cat was just about to continue its experiment when white light burst into the room. By the time darkness fell once more, the small cat was nowhere to be found.
“What are you doing?” God barked.
“Mrrow. I was curious,” the cat said, turning back into its human form to straddle across God’s lap to look up at God with innocent eyes. He seemed to be angry.
“Even so, you can’t kiss him.”
“You can only kiss the person you’re close to.”
“Little master hugged me before. We’re very close.”
“Urk…I mean by the one you’re closest to. That means there can only be one person.”
“So I’m not closest to him,” the kitten disappointedly commented, his furry ears drooped down. He got to know XiaoYu first. Why is that man closer to his owner than him? (╯^╰)
“Because you already have someone you’re closest to.”
“Hm?” Who was it? Why didn’t he know?
“Aren’t we close?” God asked in an exasperated voice, a finger pointing to himself.
“We’re close! ^w^” They were so close that the in-game Intimacy level measuring mechanism would be overloaded.
“That’s it then. Everyone can only ever have someone they’re closest to.”
“Then can I kiss you? What’s so fun about kissing?” The two men in the cat’s life kissed so often. It must be fun.
“Do you want to try?”
“Close your eyes.”
God looked at the obedient little kitten before him. It’d be illogical to not taste a feast when it’s willingly being served right before him. With one arm wrapped around the cat’s waist, God’s lips descended and kissed the man in his lap.
God skipped straight past pecking and into a passionate French kiss. His tongue chased after the other’s in an attempt to suck at it. When the little cat snuck a kiss with that player, he’d held back his anger. Then the young man wanted to go overboard and stick his tongue in the human’s mouth. God shouldn’t have summoned the kitten back whenever the player’s online, but he knew that if he didn’t “educate” his tiny cat, things would go out of hand.
“Mnngh…” What a strange feeling. The small cat could feel all of his strength leaching out of his body. It was also harder to breathe.
The kiss went on until God detected the cat on his lap was about to suffocate. Only then did he reluctantly release the other’s lips.
“I…I’m going back now,” the kitten panted out. He turned back into his cat form and fled back to the sleeping couple.
It buried its fluffy form into the blankets. Kissing with tongues wasn’t fun at all. Not only would its face go red, its entire body felt like it’s on fire. A certain part of its body down there throbbed with heat. Thankfully, this body was covered in black fur. No one could see its blushing face. But it’s so embarrassing. The cat curled up tighter.
For this, let’s head back to before the tiny cat became XiaoYu’s pet.
While the cat could turn into a young man at any time by God’s side, his intelligence never matched his appearance. That was no surprise. He’d been by God’s side since his birth. The two might observe Asgard Online together, but anything they watch together would have passed through God’s censors. Those were all harmonious scenes.
Everything related to the ugly side of humanity, intentionally duelling another player for evil purposes, sabotage, kill-stealing, theft, slander, harassment, etc. were instantly streamed straight into God’s mind instead of the screen hovering before the two men. There were also certain scenes God automatically dismissed without even thought – sights only meant for an adult’s eyes. God wouldn’t stoop so low as to watch as people did their private business. Thus, unless God received warning of a player losing large amounts of health during the act, he would ignore all footage adult-only scenes collected by the hotels of the game. God had yet to encounter such an exception, however.
Due to God’s overprotective and doting tendencies, the little cat’s maturity and intelligence were stuck on an awkward stage. He’s too clever for a cat, but too naïve for a young man.
When he’s bored out of his mind, the cat would start poking his nose into the players’ matters. “Idiot! There’s a monster going berserk over there!”, “The other way! The boss is the other way!” and “Ah, if you pluck this flower, you’d trigger a hidden quest!” were some of his comments.
As for God, he’d nod along to the cat’s comments as he took advantage of the other’s distracted state to enjoy having the cat in his lap. He didn’t care to correct the cat on his comments. Who cared if they were only able to be meddlers due to their knowledge? God didn’t mind and the tiny cat was unaware of it. They were fine as they were.
“There are no monsters there. They’re going the wrong way,” the cat meowed during one lazy afternoon when he was sprawled across God’s lap. His eyes were focused on one of the many screens floating before the two. A man and a woman were shown taking a stroll through the forest. According to the small cat’s memory, there was nothing in that direction. No monsters and no secret triggers. Soon, the couple would find a dead-end with huge slabs of stone walls around them. There was no way they could climb up and over. The only way past was to go around the walls.
“Mn. They’ll turn around once they reach the end,” God replied, caressing the young man’s smooth body.
And so the couple quickly found the gigantic obstacles facing them past the thick forest. Their maps said it was a mountain but the land was so steep that they were faced with an unclimbable wall instead.
“I’m exhausted. I don’t want to walk anymore,” the woman said, sliding down along the rock wall to sit on the ground.
“Yes, dear. We’ll take a break,” the man replied to his wife.
“This is so boring. What a waste of time. Give me a scroll. Let’s head back.” There was nothing in her inventory except for some HP and MP potions. Her job was to collect the money and loot they found. Her husband kept all sorts of junk in his bag anyway. She didn’t have to worry about being stocked up with food or Return Scrolls with him around.
“Are we heading back so soon?”
“Yeah. There’s not even a monster here. Did you think we’d meet an NPC?”
“Hee-hee. Dear, look around. It’s such a nice place. Why don’t we do something exciting?”
“You want to do it in broad daylight, you darned man?”
“I want to try going a round in the wild,” said the man as his hands started groping.
“What does he mean?” the cat asked, looking up at God.
The other man resisted the urge to kill off this couple with a lightning strike. How dare they think of having sex in the middle of the day? Not even he could’ve predicted this would’ve happened. There were so many things going on in the screens before them. Why did the little cat just have to notice this couple?
“They’re talking about battling out in the wild.”
“But there are no monsters around here. Huh? Why are they stripping?” The couple in the screen were already chucking off their clothes and gear.
“You can’t watch anymore.” God covered the tiny cat’s eyes with his hands and flicked the screen away.
“We can’t look at players when they’re naked. Just like how no one else can see you as you are now.”
“Because only people close to you can see?”
“Oh, I get it now.” He was praised. He’s such a clever little cat (nwn).
When NPCs or monsters with sophisticated AI would come to meet God, he would cover up the cat’s naked body with a cape. The confused cat had once questioned it. God had told him only those who were close to him, like God, could look at him when he’s naked. That was the only reason why the small cat knew that.
The cat was used to going around naked. He didn’t like being restricted by clothing but since God, the person he was closest to, said no one can see him naked, he’ll cover himself up when other people were around.
Ever since that near-miss, God began to be wary. Footage of married players would be filtered out of the screens so they would never encounter another couple getting horny during the day.
Now, let’s head back to after QiYao’s and XiaoYu’s marriage. God began worrying about the tiny cat. He was so close to the act. Would there be any issues? He didn’t have to worry. The kitten was very obedient. As soon as the couple started taking off their clothes, he would cover up his eyes with his small paws.
However, as time went on, the cat grew curious. Especially since his owner would moan and groan every time. It sounded so nice. The more the cat overheard, the more curiosity bit at him. He had been naked before. He never had the urge to make such sounds.
Did it require two naked beings before it’d happen? Hm…there should also be some movement because the bed beneath him was swaying and bouncing.
Thankfully, the little cat never dared to experiment with his owner as XiaoYu was sleeping. He couldn’t have done it anyway. He can’t turn into a human when around players. He really wanted to know what was going on though. He was dying from curiosity.
As the number of nights QiYao and XiaoYu spend outside the game grew, the cat would essentially spend his nights curled in God’s embrace. Boredom returned so he started observing what the players were doing at night. But he saw nothing. After a while, things started to click together in the cat’s mind. God had once said only the closest person could see one nude. He wasn’t close to those players. Of course he found nothing.
But then he and his little owner were quite close already. Could he sneak a peek? Aah, why did he only realise it now? His owner rarely ever spent the night online now. He’s such an idiot.
Time went on and there’ll always be a chance for the tiny cat. On that day, for some reason, XiaoYu insisted on sleeping in-game. He wouldn’t go offline. The kitten didn’t understand why but QiYao knew it was because he’d went overboard the night before. His XiaoYu was angry at him.
They can stay online. While it wouldn’t be as nice as doing it in reality, it would allow QiYao to do whatever he wanted with no consequences. Why is his ditzy little bunny so oblivious? It’s impossible for him to escape the claws of the big bad wolf.
That night, the wolf was thoroughly focused on savouring his little bunny. No one noticed the cowardly little cat slowly shifting his paws to a side. (つw 0)
Just as the kitten saw a tiny sliver of his owner’s and the gold-coin man’s dangling flesh, the world span around him. He was once more summoned back by God.
“Did you forget what I told you?” God shouted.
“Mrrrw. I’m curious. I was just going to take a peek.” God sounded so much angrier than last time. This cat’s sad. (╯3╰)
“If it’s not the person closest to you, you can’t do it. Not a single peek.”
“…okay.” the cat reluctantly replied.
“You really want to know what they’re doing that badly?” God had always doted on his cat. He could never watch the other be sad. Hence, his voice gradually softened.
“You can’t look at anyone else, but we can try it out.”
“Well? Don’t want to?”
“Will it feel as weird as the kiss last time…?”
“Really?” The tiny cat’s eyes gleamed bright. Feel nice? How so?
“You’ll know once you’ve done it once,” God replied with a smile. If any of the NPCs with sophisticated AI saw that smile, they’d definitely run for the mountains. There was something wrong with that smile.
“Mn, mn.” God looked so nice when he’s smiling. And so the silly little cat offered his body up to experiment with God.
Huh? Wait…why were they kissing like last time? Mnngh…his body’s heating up. He really wanted to squirm and rub. Aaahn. How could God touch there? But it feels so good. Mrrrrow…it did feel nice. Ouch. That hurt…slow down…
XiaoYu never noticed the cat going missing for the entire night. He did wonder why the little cat seemed rather lethargic in the morning. The cat was curled into a ball in his arms and refused to move at all. Were they too noisy last night? Did they disturb its sleep? That was possible. He himself felt like he didn’t have enough sleep too, XiaoYu thought as he yawned.
Unknown to XiaoYu, the tiny cat curled in his arms was wondering if its owner did that every single day. While it felt nice, it did hurt a little and it was so tiring. Aah, it’ll put it out of its mind. It’s so embarrassing.
That’s the end of this story! Huzzah! Thank you for reading. The index will be updated with chapter titles (soon™).
I’ll be focusing on translating my other project, Reborn as a Good Child, for now. The next projects will be chosen once that’s finished.