153. Why Are You So Contradictory?
Behind JingYuan, YiHan fervently waved his hands in a “no” gesture at Ms Liu. However, Ms Liu had always been the kind to speak her mind without hesitation. By the time she noticed YiHan’s actions, she had already finished prattling about how YiHan had made congee for JingYuan.
“Shoot, I forgot,” Ms Liu dazedly said. “Little Master said that I can’t tell you.”
At Ms Liu’s words, YiHan helplessly hung his head low.
JingYuan turned around. His dark eyes burned into YiHan’s scalp as the other man adamantly looked at the floor instead of at JingYuan.
“Hurry up and go eat!” YiHan said, still hanging his head as he pushed JingYuan along to the table. “It’ll get cold.”
JingYuan obediently walked over to the dining table. As he sat down, Ms Liu scurried away back into the kitchen.
“Well, erm,” YiHan softly said, “try it. I’ve had a taste test. This congee might not look the best but it tastes fine.”
JingYuan scooped some congee up with the spoon Ms Liu had placed beside the bowl and took a bite of it.
“Well?” YiHan couldn’t stop himself from eagerly asking. “Does it tastes too salty? I hear sick people would always find food a little saltier than usual so I only put a tiny bit of salt.”
To JingYuan, it wasn’t too salty. In fact, he couldn’t taste any salt at all. “It’s really good. Hm,” JingYuan said. “It looks good, very appetising.” (Note: the congee is colourful. It looks something like the concoction witches in cartoons are always stirring in their pot.)
YiHan pursed his lips. He tried to resist from smiling but he still failed, letting a little loose into his face. “Mn,” YiHan said, trying to hold onto his composure, “it’s the first time I’ve tried cooking congee. I didn’t do all that well. I’ll try and cook more for you. I’ll get better with practice.”
JingYuan was so touched that he was nearly brought to tears. “You don’t need to cook for me all the time. Cooking is hard work and it’s dangerous.”
“It’s not hard work,” YiHan gently replied, looking into JingYuan’s eyes. “I had never experienced the joy of cooking before. When I was cooking today, the thought of making food for you made me so happy.”
JingYuan’s body truly felt as light as feather now. His joy made him feel as if he could fly. Before he lost all control to the happiness, JingYuan cleared his throat and dipped his head down to focus on the congee before him. Both of his ears were flushed red.
Ms Liu walked out of the kitchen with a tray filled with a bowl of rice and a few side dishes that were blander and less oily than usual. “You’re sick, sir. These dishes are better for you and gentler on your stomach. Once you’re better, I’ll cook up a delicious feast.”
Ms Liu placed the dishes on the table and swiftly returned to the kitchen.
“She ran so fast,” YiHan burst out chuckling.
JingYuan glanced up at YiHan, looked down and glanced at YiHan again. There was a warm smile on his face.
After dinner, the couple returned to their rooms. JingYuan went straight into the bathroom. The man had broken out in a sweat during his afternoon nap. He felt so sticky and uncomfortable that he had to wash the sweat off. Sitting in the bathtub, JingYuan closed his eyes and thought about YiHan’s attitude throughout the day. When he heard a noise at the door, he opened his eyes and turned. It was YiHan in a long dressing gown. His hair was still dripping wet as he walked further into the bathroom.
“I came,” YiHan bit his lip and said upon seeing JingYuan looking at him, “to help you with your shower.”
“It’s fine,” JingYuan warmly responded. “I can do it myself. You’re exhausted. Go to bed first.”
YiHan pursed his lips and said, “Your fever just broke. Your strength must not be back yet. Showering uses up quite a lot of stamina.”
JingYuan kept quiet and looked back at YiHan. After staring into each other’s eyes for a long while, YiHan felt like JingYuan had seen through every nook and cranny in his soul. YiHan bit down hard at his lips and twisted his head to a side.
“Hurry up then,” YiHan whispered. “I’ll be waiting outside.”
YiHan had just taken a step when he heard JingYuan call out to him, “YiHan.”
YiHan stopped but he didn’t look back.
JingYuan sighed and said, “I am rather tired. It’d be nice if you help me.”
YiHan’s fingers twisted and played with the belt of his sleeping robe. Then, he turned and walked to the bathtub. He knelt down and solemnly helped JingYuan wash up.
The man in the bathtub silently stared at YiHan. Those dark eyes boring into YiHan made him a little uneasy.
“What are you looking at me for?” YiHan glumly blurted.
JingYuan didn’t speak for a moment before replying, “Your sleeves are wet.”
YiHan hummed in response and said, “It’s fine. I’ll get changed later.”
“Wet clothes don’t feel nice against the skin,” JingYuan solemnly said. “The bathroom’s not cold. Why not take it off?”
YiHan’s hands froze. He pulled them out of the water and slowly pulled his robe open. The dressing gown slid open, revealing a fair body covered only by a tiny piece of underwear.
JingYuan took in a deeper inhale as his fingers clutched hard at the edges of the bathtub. He said nothing.
YiHan placed his dressing gown to the side and reached down into the water again. His hands felt much warmer now to JingYuan.
YiHan continued washing JingYuan for a few minutes before stopping and mumbling, “You…”
JingYuan glanced down and what he saw peeking at him from beneath the water made him slap his forehead.
“HanHan,” said JingYuan, “I want to kiss you.”
YiHan froze up. He felt a little jolt of electricity run through his body at those words. He pursed his lips again and shuffled forward.
“Then, kiss me,” YiHan whispered. “Why ask?”
JingYuan gave YiHan a deep look before his chest surged forward. His arms stretched out and pulled YiHan into his embrace by the neck. Then, he dipped his head to kiss the other man.
The instant their lips met, the two men let out a sigh of satisfaction. It was a passionate kiss and JingYuan’s actions could be considered biting instead. YiHan opened his lips and welcomed JingYuan’s tongue. Little moans and whimper escaped from his throat. It seemed like JingYuan had sucked in all the air from his lungs. His vision swam and wavered. Before his vision went black, JingYuan pulled him into the bathtub. With water loudly splashing out of the tub, YiHan was in the tub with JingYuan while the only piece of fabric on YiHan’s body was soaked through. It clung tightly on YiHan’s body while turning semi-transparent. However, it was an eyesore to JingYuan. Soon, it was cruelly stripped off and thrown to the wet bathroom tiles.
JingYuan thrust and turned and plunged for so long that YiHan couldn’t even moan or whimper. When they moved back to the bedroom, YiHan was as limp as a doll. JingYuan shoved a ball of blanket under YiHan’s hips. By the time YiHan nodded off to sleep, he’d lost count of how many times they’d been at it and he was still swaying and bumping against the bundle of fabric.
On the next morning, the sun shone brightly down on the bed. YiHan was still fast asleep while JingYuan, who’d “worked” for the whole night, was much more energetic than the day before. The man was sitting on the bed, clothed and frowning in frustration.
YiHan was in the same position as he was in last night after JingYuan cleaned him up. He didn’t move an inch at all. His breathing was deep and even while dark skin enveloped his eyes. He showed no signs of waking up at all.
The blanket ended just over YiHan’s shoulder, revealing a neck full of blue-green hickeys. JingYuan knew all too well what was hidden beneath the blanket. There wouldn’t be a single inch of skin that was free of love bites. The thighs were the most severely bruised. They weren’t dotted with bruises. Patches upon patches wrapped around YiHan’s leg. No one could tell YiHan’s skin was supposed to be fair and pale underneath all the bruises. His lips were red and swollen. His dark circles were dark and deep. YiHan had also gotten much thinner over the past few weeks. Curled into a tiny ball under the blanket, YiHan looked as miserable as pitiful as anyone can be.
JingYuan ruffled his hair in anger. How he wished he could punch himself in the face. When he did it with YiHan before, he’d always been extremely careful to control his strength. Occasionally, he’d lose control but he had never hurt YiHan. He knew there was some anger in his actions last night. Combined with how long it had been since he’d achieved release, JingYuan had lost control.
Once more, JingYuan pulled the blanket away from YiHan’s form. In a touch so soft that it would even disturb a hair on YiHan, he ran his hand over the knees covered in medication cream. Then, he let out another deep sigh.
During the latter parts of the night, YiHan had gotten hurt. It must’ve hurt then, right? But YiHan said nothing. He just let JingYuan continue without any signs of pain. This had been how YiHan acted during their entire relationship, except for the month or so they’d spent in a cold war. YiHan was always like this. No matter how the man acted during the day, he’d just go along with whatever JingYuan wanted in bed. He would never say no.
JingYuan didn’t get it at all. Why was YiHan like this? Logically speaking, someone who’d grown up with a temper would be more self-centred in bed. He should wish for other people to go along with his wants instead. Why was it absolute obedience instead when it came to JingYuan?
JingYuan leaned down and wrapped YiHan, and the blanket covering him, in an embrace. He sighed again. There was actually nothing to ponder about here. There was only one explanation for YiHan’s actions. It’s because YiHan loved him. Since YiHan was so deeply in love with him, why wouldn’t the man trust him? Why would the man not try even fighting back when he heard what he did back at the study? Why did YiHan so easily decide to let go?
JingYuan kissed the back of YiHan’s neck and whispered, “HanHan, why are you so contradictory?”
Limp as a doll: The text originally had it as “Myasthenia gravis” (MG), a neuromuscular/autoimmune disease that leads to muscle weakness which usually affects the nerves and/or muscles around the head, neck and chest. However, the Chinese name literally translates to “strengthless muscle disease” so the author might not really mean MG specifically.
Blackout during sex: Please remember that this would usually be considered rape unless discussed about beforehand. Consent only matters if the participant is awake and it can be taken away at any moment.
To those who are celebrating, have a happy Lunar New Year! There will still be updates next week.