122. Give Me an Explanation
“His history of mental illness is true,” YiHan said. “I’m not surprised at how the case was closed. What I’m concerned about is his statement. Was there anything of value? Was this incident really just incited by Tao Qi? I don’t want to see anyone else threatening my sister and my brother-in-law again.”
Fang Yi stepped through the door that was held open for him and sat down on the sofa just beyond. “At the moment, yes,” he said, nodding his head. “With his situation, his statement cannot be used as direct proof. However, I have always felt he had the ability to make his own judgement. He should actually be held accountable for his own actions. Other than his nonsensical ramblings and unrealistic, over-agitated delusions, he hasn’t lost the ability to think logically.” He scoffed. “At the very least, the man knew he had a history of mental illness, so he won’t be charged with any crime. He’d been rather carefree during his entire time in jail. His mother also kicked up a huge fuss.”
“What’s his explanation for this incident?” JingYuan asked.
“He thinks that just because he’d fallen in love with Bai XueQing, then she should be his woman. However, Miss Bai would never acknowledge him. She never even accepted his confession of love. That made him extremely unsatisfied with Miss Bai. And then he was fired by the Bai Group due to personal reasons. We all know Miss Bai never knew of his existence or of him being laid-off. Still, he thinks it’s because Miss Bai is a gold-digger. She disliked his poverty, so abandoned him and oppressed him. He’d been furious with indignation after being sacked. He thinks it’s Miss Bai’s fault for she was an immoral woman. Due to his constantly unstable emotions, he would always encounter problems with the work he found later on. This increased his anger and depression. But in his mind, he still understood the difference between his and Miss Bai’s social ranks. Thus, he’d only ever curse her out behind her back. He never dared to actually do anything or take revenge. That was until Tao Qi came into the scene.
“She told Wei Quan about Miss Bai dating Mr Chen. This made his anger go through the roof. He felt as if he’d been ‘cheated on’. In a bid to use him as a tool, Tao Qi sacrificed her body and had sex with him for a few nights. By the end, Wei Quan thought of her as his lover. That meant she was on his side. He began to believe every word she said, without a single doubt. A few days of taunting later, Wei Quan was at his limit. This was when Tao Qi told him that due to his history of mental illness, even if he murdered someone, he wouldn’t be legally held accountable. She said a man shouldn’t have to bear such ‘humiliation’ and encouraged him to kill off Mr Chen. However, after all the preparations, right before the act, Wei Quan changed his mind. He thought that even if he killed off Mr Chen, Miss Bai can still go on and find another man. He’d be murdering someone anyway. Why not just kill Miss Bai? Then, she wouldn’t be able to ‘cheat on him’. Even if the Bai family were powerful enough to make him pay with his life, he could then be husband and wife with Miss Bai in the underworld.”
Never could YiHan have imagined there’d be someone so shameless in this world. He was so furious that he stood up and kicked the coffee table before him. His hands were shaking. JingYuan reached up and pulled the trembling man down by his side.
“Don’t be angry,” JingYuan said, gently patting YiHan’s shoulder. “Wei Quan would pay the price for his deeds.”
Fang Yi blinked at the man. “From the looks of it, Wei Quan is just a crazy man with something wrong up there,” he continued as if he’d heard nothing from JingYuan. “He was used by Tao Qi but we still can’t guess what the woman’s motive could be. We would need to thoroughly interrogate her first.”
The officer blinked once more, leaned in close to YiHan and whispered, “Right, YiHan, she’s been at your home for a while. Did you get any answers?”
Emotions flashed through YiHan’s eyes at that.
After a brief glance at the younger man, JingYuan answered, “I’ve had some experts question her. She also doesn’t seem to be right in the head. She might be even crazier than Wei Quan. She thinks our world is just a novel and we have our set destinies. Chen TianYang’s fate was to die under Wei Quan’s car. All she’d done was just to ‘aid the plot’.”
“Why are there so many maniacs living in our society?” Fang Yi shouted in anger. “Their laughable, senseless, thoughts and actions have seriously endangered everyone’s safety. They’d injure people but would end up free of crime! It’s just too infuriating!”
JingYuan’s lips twisted into a cryptic cold smirk.
That evening, JingYuan and YiHan were lounging on the sofa in YiHan’s room. The older man had been silent the entire night.
YiHan had spent the whole day scurrying around in guilt. He cautiously sat by the man’s side. To cover up his uneasiness, he kept stuffing his face with the fruits before him.
Eventually, JingYuan turned to look at the younger man and sighed. “HanHan, is there nothing you want to tell me?” he softly asked, raising a hand to stroke YiHan’s hair.
YiHan froze. He stiffly turned to look at the older man, his cheeks still bulging with food.
JingYuan reached out and poked one of the puffy cheeks. “Swallow,” he soothed.
Reflexively, YiHan gulped everything down but then choked so hard that his neck stretched out straight and a bulge could be seen. JingYuan didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
“You’ve got to chew,” JingYuan said, pouring out a glass of water for YiHan.
YiHan took a sip of the water and timidly whispered, “You noticed?”
JingYuan calmly looked back at YiHan and said, “Your methods were too crude. I only fell for it because I trusted you too much. If I still haven’t realised by today, I’d be a fool, wouldn’t I?”
“Those pills don’t harm the body at all,” YiHan hurriedly said. “It just helps with sleep.”
JingYuan pulled the glass out of YiHan’s hands and placed it aside. “I believe you,” he said. “No matter what, you would never hurt me. I just want to know what was worth drugging me for. Also, you can’t have premeditated last night. Why do you have ‘sleeping aides’ in your bedroom?”
YiHan crossed his fingers. He looked down as he focused on twining them together. A few moments later, JingYuan separated them and held YiHan’s hands in his. YiHan tried pulling them away but didn’t succeed. He bit his lip in hesitation.
“I just…” YiHan whispered. “I just…”
“You went to talk to Tao Qi?” JingYuan interrupted.
“How did you know?” YiHan’s eyes went wide.
JingYuan sighed once more and said, “Because of the nonsense she was spouting? But this shouldn’t be enough to make you drug me.”
When the word “drug” left JingYuan’s mouth, YiHan’s guilt increased. His voice went lower as he said, “I went to ask her why she’d think you and she are a couple. I wanted to know what gave her the confidence to say that.”
JingYuan closed his eyes. “I’ve said you’d be worried over this matter but it’s not enough to make you drug me. HanHan, are you going to keep lying to me? Even now? Am I that untrustworthy?”
YiHan froze again. He lowered his head and thought about it for a few long minutes. But his mind was spinning round and round and he just didn’t know. Should he tell JingYuan?
The moment the thought popped into his head, YiHan immediately recalled his last life, the night when Feng Qun drugged him and dragged him to the hotel, the vile things that happened the day he died.
Those memories made him tug his hands out of JingYuan’s, hard, and jump out of his seat to walk to the window. He placed his palms flat down on the windowsill as he stared out of the window. No! He can’t tell JingYuan!
He shut his eyes and hung his head. No man could accept his other half having such a past, right? Not even if it’s in a past life.
Anyway, not even Confucius would speak of strange events, violence, riots, and supernatural phenomenon. What happened to him was just too far beyond reality. Even if he told JingYuan, the other man might think he’s insane. Right?
He can’t tell. Even at the risk of death, he can’t tell JingYuan. But then how to explain drugging JingYuan? Would their relationship break apart because of this?
What should he do?
He stood there and for a moment, he felt a sense of overwhelming helplessness. Ever since his rebirth, JingYuan had been by his side all the time. It filled him with energy and will. Now, he’s faced with JingYuan’s suspicion. What should he do? He was the one who drugged JingYuan. It’s normal for the man to want to know why. However, he had too many secrets he can’t speak of. Why wouldn’t he want to be fully honest with his lover if it’s at all possible?
It’s all because JingYuan had spoiled him rotten lately. It’d made him forget himself and made the same mistake as he did before. He acted on impulse and didn’t think about the consequences. Drugging JingYuan last night was due to an urge to know what Tao Qi knew. He didn’t think about how to explain himself. What should he do now? He didn’t even dare look back now.
Unwittingly, his fingers had dug into the windowsill. He didn’t even realise his nails had started cracking.
JingYuan was stunned by YiHan’s hard jerk to pull his hands away from JingYuan’s. The sight of YiHan standing at the window, back towards him, looked so very frail and helpless that JingYuan could feel his heart squeeze. But it’s also impossible for JingYuan to not mind being drugged. YiHan should at least give him an explanation.
He sat there, not speaking a single word. He wanted to give YiHan some time. He hoped the younger man could give him an explanation, even if it’s a lie. He’d be willing to believe in anything.
But YiHan stood there by the window as minutes ticked by. He didn’t seem to be wanting to talk anytime soon. JingYuan couldn’t help but be disappointed. Perhaps he shouldn’t be forcing HanHan. Wouldn’t it have been better if JingYuan acted as if he didn’t realise? Great. Now HanHan wouldn’t even look back at him. Now, the air between them slowly froze and turned sour.
He let out another sigh, stood up and walked over to HanHan. His mind was running through what he could say to turn the situation around but then he realised the younger man was hanging his head, thinking about who knew what. YiHan’s gaze stared straight out, not even realising he’d walked over to him. And YiHan’s hands. About five or six of those fair and slender fingers were stained with blood at the fingertips. YiHan didn’t even seem to be in pain. Those fingers were still digging into the wood!
JingYuan was frightened. He immediately stepped closer to grab those hands.
“What are you doing?” he barked in anger. “Your fingers are bleeding. Doesn’t it hurt?”
YiHan snapped out of his stupor. Only then did he realise he was looking at his own hands.
“Oh,” he nonchalantly said, “it’s fine. JingYuan, I…”
JingYuan regretted his words so much. “Say no more!” he said, shaking his head. His heart hurt so badly. “HanHan, if you don’t want to speak, then don’t speak. It’s fine. I know you will never harm me. It’s my bad. I won’t ask anymore, okay? What’s important now are your hands. Come, let’s go to the hospital and clean up your wounds. How about it?”
YiHan’s mind wasn’t even on his fingers. “I’m sorry, JingYuan,” he anxiously said. “Those pills really don’t have any negative side-effects. I wouldn’t do anything bad to you!”
JingYuan held those bleeding fingers in his hands. His hands were both trembling from his heart cracking in sorrow.
“I know, HanHan,” he soothed. “I know. I never once suspected you’d ever hurt me. It’s my bad. You must have your own reasons for doing what you did. If you don’t want to tell me, I won’t ask. Okay? Come on. Let’s go to the hospital.”
Remember, mental trauma is something very personal and differs from person to person. Know when to push and when to back off. JingYuan is an above-average example of what to do. Always be alert if it might be a sensitive topic.