The expected pain didn’t happen. Instead, his weakened state was cured…by a healing spell!
“Hehe. It’s not good to bully children,” an unknown man’s voice rang out.
Bai XiaoYu opened his eyes to find a male healer with bible in hand not far behind BattleOverlord. A pink aura surrounded XiaoYu. It’s a skill healers only learn at Level 90 – Safety Wall. It’s a spell that can block a certain number of attacks. The higher the proficiency, the higher the number. However, it has a cooldown of 30 minutes and uses a Blue Gemstone. Looks like the attack from BattleOverlord was blocked by this skill.
“Mind your own business!”
“Alright. I will. Go on. Keep killing.” The healer folded his hands together and tucked his chin into it. He sat down by a tree and stared at them.
BattleOverlord and XiaoYu were both stunned. What’s going on? Don’t think about the fact that he stopped saving someone halfway through the act. What’s with the “everyone can do what they want. I’m going to watch something fun” expression on his face?
“Hm? You’re done? If you won’t attack, I will. Those who don’t attack grey names are idiots. Come, let’s see what you’ll drop.” Upon noticing the other two were stunned with surprise, he started standing up while talking to himself. He patted down the exquisite high-level red and white Priest’s uniform and dropped into a fighting stance.
“Should I slowly bludgeon you to death with my book or should I give a quick death via Holy Light?” I_Am_A_Poor_Man had a usually cheery grin on his face. He showed off his big gleaming white teeth while swinging the book as thick as a dictionary in his hand. “Why don’t we play a game? Let’s see if you can kill that little healer first or if I’ll kill you first. Let me put this out first. My Safety Wall can resist around 3000 damage or so.”
“You…” The swordsman deflated. While priests aren’t combat-focused, the huge gap in level and equipment meant it was an easy task for the other to squish him and there was no way he could fight back at all.
After throwing a seething glare at XiaoYu, BattleOverlord changed into a set focused on Agility and Dexterity before running out of the woods as quick as he could.
“Boring.” If I_Am_A_Poor_Man had really wanted to make a move, that little swordsman wouldn’t have been able to escape. But killing children was not his style.
“Thank you…” Finally, XiaoYu’s taut mind could relax. His body swayed. With a hand against the tree trunk behind him, he slowly sat down.
“No worries. It’s our duty to protect those in the same field.” I_Am_A_Poor_Man squatted down before XiaoYu and sized him up. “How dreadful. Your clothes are falling apart. How many times did he stab you? You’re not even Level 20, right?” The swordsman looked to be nearly at his Second Job Change. It didn’t make sense that the little Acolyte had been stabbed so many times and yet didn’t die. Normally, he should be dead in one blow.
“I can’t remember…” XiaoYu breathlessly replied. He placed the tiny cat on his knees and lightly stroked it in comfort.
“It’s been 4 hours.” It was the longest 4 hours of XiaoYu’s life.
“What? That bastard! I shouldn’t have let him go.” With some minor extrapolation, I_Am_A_Poor_Man figured out what probably came of it. What great vengeance was there that it required torturing a small Acolyte for 4 whole hours? If there was a grudge between them, then kill the other and be done with it. He despised those who love scheming and fooled around.
“What did you do to him?” Healers were a class that everyone loved. Furthermore, this honest child in front of him didn’t look like someone who’d cause trouble.
“I…didn’t want to sell my pet to him.” Suddenly, XiaoYu felt upset and deeply wronged. He had done absolutely nothing wrong, yet he had to suffer such treatment.
“Just that?” There are plenty of petty people in-game who’d bully newbies without a guild’s backing just because their levels were high. Even so, he’d never met someone who’d torment a newbie so. This BattleOverlord sure is a fine specimen.
“Meow…” The tiny cat licked at XiaoYu’s finger. It knew its owner had suffered tremendously.
“This kitten’s quite cute. What’s its name?” I_Am_A_Poor_Man examined the little one yet saw no special attributes to it. Weren’t there a lot of cute pets in the game?
“Mrow!” The little cat grinned at I_Am_A_Poor_Man as if to introduce itself.
“Eh?” So cute! A floral backdrop blossomed behind it. I_Am_A_Poor_Man roughly understood that swordsman’s intentions now. Still, it wasn’t right for him to torture others. “What an…interesting name. Could there be a big lucky cat?” I_Am_A_Poor_Man joked.
“Um…No, but there’s a lucky cat.”
“Where?” Really? He only asked on a whim.
XiaoYu pointed to his own nose.
“Pfft. Hahahaha!” I_Am_A_Poor_Man fell down laughing. This kid’s name was too cute. [slaps floor]
“= =+” Another one.
Perhaps it was because I_Am_A_Poor_Man realised his image of a high and mighty Priest was being squashed. He softly cleared his throat and solemnly sat cross-legged in front of XiaoYu with the posture of a serious senior.
“Can you stand?” While physical hunger could be replenished through food, mental fatigue can only depend on the players themselves.
XiaoYu shook his head. It looked like today’s training plan was a bust. Once recovered, he just wanted to head straight back to the city, find an inn and sleep.
“Hm…” I_Am_A_Poor_Man stroked his chin. Usually, he wouldn’t be such a busy body but what a coincidence, this pitiful child was an Acolyte.
After a whole day of grinding at Gryphons with Chief, he’s finally had enough experience to accept the Level 100 Quest. As it could only be done solo, he’s got a rare chance to slow down.
Initially, he thought he was most likely the most pitiful healer in the game. The moment Chief summoned him, he’d have to instantly leave his grinding party and report in. Nothing he can do. Who asked for Chief to be his boss in real life? After a while, every guild member knew that he was Chief’s exclusive healer. They never called him to go training with them again.
It made him really depressed. Think, every healer was treated like the party’s gem no matter where they went. Not only were they well-protected, they were also never left out when it came to splitting up loot. It’s all because once proof of healers being maltreated were posted on the forums, those parties would enter the Healers Alliance’s blacklist. No healer would ever willingly party with them again.
Thus, he’d always complain about how one could never find a more miserable healer than he. Be it in reality or in game, he’s always a certain someone’s nanny. His brain and body would be squeezed dry, but more money would never be squeezed into his salary. Not only that, he’d have to protect the chief at all costs when they meet danger and use his measly body to back Chief up. Hence while everyone else was at Level 90, he was still struggling at Level 94.
Now, he’s found someone who’s more pitiful than he was – this tiny Acolyte at Level 10-plus. If he was the one being tortured for 4 hours, he’d never rest until the culprit was culled back to Level 10 by all the bounty hunters in the server.
“Here. Eat something tasty. You’ll feel better.” I_Am_A_Poor_Man took out a piece of mousse cake from his inventory. This was his way of rewarding himself, so he chose to be a chef as his Profession.
“Meow…” The tiny cat drooled. It looked really, really tasty. Maybe its owner would be willing to split some with it >0<
“I’ve got something for the tiny lucky cat too.” A staple for camping – ‘tis skewered fish.
“Meow!” After all, cats love fish. The little cat immediately abandoned the sweet and fragrant cake and pounced towards the golden crispy fish.
“Hehe. Don’t rush. I’ve got more.” I_Am_A_Poor_Man petted the kitten on the head. Feels so nice. One day, he’ll go buy a cute pet for himself too.
“Thank you.” XiaoYu realised he didn’t know what else to say except thank you and was frustrated over how stupid his mouth was.
“No need to thank me. Taking care of new players is everyone’s duty.”
“Where did you buy those skewers?” It’s the second time XiaoYu had seen grilled fish skewers. This time, he’s determined to suss out where they came from to improve the little guy’s diet.
“I made them myself. Also, don’t be so formal. It sounds cold.”
“Oh. How do you make them?”
“Go to Serica and look for the head chef of Yang’s Restaurant. Tell him you want to be his apprentice and learn to cook. Once you complete the quest, you can then be a chef.” Serica is one of the 4 main cities. Its buildings were in the vibrant style of ancient China. Asgard Online is a strange and mystical game. It gathers different cultures from all over the world and let its players pick which they prefer.
“Meow…” The fish skewer was quickly demolished. The little cat obediently pawed at I_Am_A_Poor_Man’s pants, its face filled with charm.
[Head in hand] I must hurry up and be a chef. It’s too shameful!
“Hehe. The little one’s AI is quite sophisticated. No wonder that kid kept chasing after you.” I_Am_A_Poor_Man scratched below the tiny cat’s jaw and took out another fish skewer. However, he didn’t put it straight on the floor this time. Instead, he held it in his hand as if it was a cat toy and teased the little cat.
“Mrow! Meow!” Left, pounce. Right, pounce. Still can’t eat it T0T
“Hehe.” Feels great. I_Am_A_Poor_Man finally found his kindness and stopped teasing it. “But you can’t get a Profession yet. You need to be at Level 40 or higher.”
“Mn. I’ll work hard.”
Alright. I’ve got to go to that dirty stinking Zombie Cave and grind for items. Ugh. I am a miserable healer as well. Chief wants Zombie Mucus and Rotten Bandages so I’ve got to do everything I can to get it done.” He eloquently wrapped it up as because “you are the kryptonite to Undeads” but actually it was because he was too lazy to go grind himself. Why did he hook up with such a boss?
I_Am_A_Poor_Man stood up and stretched his body in preparation for sacrificing himself for the greater good.
“How many do you need?” XiaoYu thought of the items he accumulated over the day in his storage.
“As many as possible.” HereticKing’s Profession was a hidden Profession, Poison Maker. Guild Wars would be patched in anytime soon. As the Guild Leader, he finally recalled his own Profession and was prepared to craft large batches of poison. Luckily, they had always been hoarding items dropped by high-level monsters. The only items they lack now were ingredients dropped by low-level monsters. Who asked him to not know that he’d have a hidden Profession?
“I’ve got some and I can help.” Until XiaoYu reached Level 40, he’d most likely be soaking in the Zombie Cave.
“Right. The only monsters you can grind at now are Undead monsters. How about this? Sell everything you find to me for 5 silvers each. Well?”
“Y-You don’t need to pay me.”
“How could I do that?”
“I should do this. It’s to thank you for saving me today and chatting with me.” Otherwise, who knew how long today’s torment would last. XiaoYu stood up and gave a slight bow to I_Am_A_Poor_Man.
“Ah, don’t be like this.” Being thanked so made I_Am_A_Poor_Man felt a bit embarrassed. “How about we add each other? The next time that despicable swordsman dares to hold you up, you message me and I’ll bash his head in with my book.”
“I_Am_A_Poor_Man.” Hand stretched out.
“Huh?” XiaoYu scratched his head in confusion. Once he glanced at the friend request sent over by the other person, he realised it was in reference to his name.
“The next time you see other PVP-ing you with bad intentions, remember to record it and expose the other on the forums.” If you dare bully the nanny class, then let’s see how you’ll be when every healer in the server ignores you.
“Alright. It’s getting late. Start working tomorrow. Go back and rest well.”
“Yes. Good night.”
1. Serica: An old name for China by Ancient Greeks. Meaning where the silk comes from. The proper Ragnarok Online equivalent would be Payon.
2. Nanny class: Yes, healers are called nannies. To be exact, it translates to wet nurse or nursemaid. However, a nanny translates better as it implies all the different aspects of taking care of a child (instead of just feeding or taking care of toddlers).
Welcome, I_Am_A_Poor_Man! He’s the best friend character who will sadly have no significant other. So sad but true. He’s also now one of the characters I hate because of his name. However, that’s what it translates to and that’s what we’ll have to deal with – lots of underscores.