22. Escaping One Last Time
With his back to the door, Bai YiHan slid down to the floor. He covered his head with his arms. He really didn’t know if his rebirth was because the gods pitied him or if it was his punishment. Hehe. It must be a punishment. They’re making him use this new life to pay for the sins in his last life, making him smile as he watched the one he loved become his brother-in-law, bless the new couple and be a good son, a good brother, while his emotions stay hidden forever.
A sudden surge of rage rose in his heart. Why? Yes, he did something wrong, but was the punishment he suffered in his last life not enough?
All the shame and pain he was forced to go through, were they not payment enough? He died in such a disgusting and messy way with not a single family member at his side. Only the corpses of those vile villains he killed himself accompanying him during his death.
His dying wish was a request for the police not to publicise his identity and bring shame to his family. He didn’t know where he’d buried. He didn’t know how many people would examine and look at his abused body. He wasn’t able to see the one he loved one last time. He wasn’t even able to die with his eyes closed!
Were all those not enough? Why? Why can’t he be free? Why can’t he forever sleep on in peace? Why must he come back and go through the pain of never having his love be accepted again?
At this moment, he really wanted to be selfish and do whatever he wanted. Everyone can just head down to hell. But he can’t. What wrongs has his family done? They loved him, indulged him. They did nothing wrong and should not be harmed.
YiHan gave a low chuckle. So be it. As the saying goes, sow the lands with evil and the fruits of it will be evil.
He’s a criminal. Dirty, disgusting and utterly rotten. He should accept the consequences of his mistake. This was his burden to bear, was it not?
Brother said he’d grown up. He’d matured. Yes. He’s grown up now. He should be responsible for his actions. If the gods thought his punishment wasn’t enough, then he should keep on living and act out the role assigned to him. He must use all he had to make the family who loved him happy. Just like the past 2 weeks since his rebirth. He did well, didn’t he?
It’s just a Mu JingYuan. Mu JingYuan never belonged to him anyway. What did he have to be upset or hurt about? He had no right to begin with.
If Mu JingYuan knew of his disgusting and twisted homosexual tendencies, would he leave without looking back? Never ever to return?
If that happened, what should his sister do? Would she live on alone for her whole life just like last time?
No. It can’t happen, Bai YiHan! Stay strong. Don’t expose yourself. Keep it in. He cannot use those disgusting feelings of his to harm JingYuan and Sis!
He raised his head. His eyes red, filled with blood. Like a trapped and desperate cub, filled with pain, but his red eyes were dry. Not a tear track to be seen.
He took a few deep breaths in panic, eventually letting out a slow exhale. He laid his head back against the door and closed his eyes in exhaustion. Let him escape one last time. Next time, he will use the most perfect smile to welcome JingYuan and bless his relationship with XueQing.